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Brothers-to-be: What's the benefit?


Couples who are planning to have more children will sooner or later ask when their little brother should arrive. Is there any ideal cork?

Many of us are wondering whether the relationship between brothers and sisters is influenced by age. In my opinion, it does not necessarily depend on this that a harmonious relationship or a conflictful relationship between siblings develops.Brotherhood: What's the benefit? Andi, who has three children (7, 12, and 14 years old), states that there is no ideal age, only in textbooks. Their children, for example, always have a reason to quarrel regardless of their age: "Even though they were younger, they seemed to be very anxious, but by the time they reached adolescence, the point of frustration was growing."Bojti Andrea at the level of a child psychologist, there is no ideal age. Whether smaller or even older, children have their own advantages and disadvantages.

Little cork

In the case of low age (1-1.5 years), parents have a hard time at the beginning. One child is small, the other smaller, and both at a time when their parents are in great need of attention and care. And that can be very stressful, says Andrea. Then, in no time, children and their playmates will cheer up, which will make it easier for the parent as well. after many years of being single, she suddenly becomes a brother. Because of her low age, her brother's presence in the family seems natural. This does not mean, of course, that there is no brotherhood for a little brother - the expert adds - but what the older brother has in mind and memories is that he has to bear in mind, but it is important to so that the child is not unexpectedly advised of the arrival of the sibling, as this may lead to anxiety or behavioral problems. For parents, it's a good idea to prepare your child to have a sibling.

Great cabbage

When there is a greater age (5-6 years) among children, it is very much easier for parents to consciously prepare a big child for the sibling's birth - emphasizes Andrea Bojti. An added benefit is that the older child can even help the parent with their little brother's tasks, but they should never be overwhelmed with these tasks, warns the psychologist. The older child also understands better the change in family life, so it may cause less anxiety, which may be a problem for a child aged 2-3 years. Being a kindergarten or kindergarten student, being more detached from the parent does not require that kind of close contact and care as a smaller child. At the same time, the big brother may be subject to some kind of thrust-stopping trauma by the arrival of a newcomer who moves him from his former central position. In these cases, an older child may experience that a small little brother is distracting his parents so that he has less time.

It's like we were raised in two worlds

It should also be borne in mind that even higher levels of up to 7-8 years of age can create a special situation between two brothers and sisters, which can cause almost a generation difference. In these cases, the children grow up almost one-on-one, as there is very little connection between the points. like my sister, who's been in a modern age, a skilled parent and a great-blooded woman. There are two in the world of a family. "
Letti also experienced this in her family, where there is more than one brothers and sisters. Even though her sister and sister are only three years old and very strong, they have a relationship with her eight years younger. As they grew older, they always avoided each other, as they put it: "it was harder to develop the closest relationship we had in adulthood." my friend was a college student from the age of 15. We could never play together. "

But what did the parent decide?

How dilemma is parents asking for? - I asked the boy Andrei Bojti. This question is often asked by parents, Andrea wondered how much ideal idleness could be influenced by a myriad of factors. to be a mom. Because of the planned low age, it is often possible to have children shorter and mother less to work. This is how Judit sees it:
"In my environment, I find that low age is popular. I have 15 months with my son, and many moms in his age have big tummies. I can't figure out how to care for such a small child." that what the parents made of their homeadds Andrea Bojti. In such a case, the relationship between the parent and his or her sibling also affects the age at which he or she has children.
  • Should the age be small or large?
  • Do you find ideal cork?
  • Age: At least two years between brothers and sisters